i do know that forgiving ourselves for our actions when we are active users is one of the hardest things to do..i still am trying to forgive myself for so many things, but like you, i keep in mind that i am not the person i was on alcohol, i am the person i am now in sobriety, and hurting someone is not in my nature..i am a very giving and accepting person, just as you are..please try to forgive yourself..it wasn't you talking and hurting someone..it was the disease..take care..