Today, I tried to contact an old friend who I was really close with. I destroyed that relationship because of my drinking.
The night that ended the friendship started with me drinking a few beers to 'relax'. Well, when I finished off what I had, I decided that I wasn't relaxed to my satisfaction so I called him and asked him if we would bring me some more beer so I wouldn't have to go out to get it. He stopped by and delivered my beer. We talked for a short while and it was embarrassing because I was slurring my words when I talked.
Well, he left and I then immediately finished off the beer that he brought. I was really drunk by this time. Later, after I finished all the beer, I called him and he ended up hanging up on me probably because I sounded really drunk. I got angry and called him back leaving a really nasty voicemail on his phone. I really let him have it-- I cussed him out and I told him that he was a loser and he would always be a loser. I NEVER MEANT ANY OF THAT!!!! I was drunk and didn't have control over my thoughts and mind at the time.
He never forgave me for hurting him. It tore me up that I broke his heart like that. He knows that I'm sorry but he still holds it against me.
He is an old friend that I would really like to make amends with and a chance to maybe rebuild our friendship.
I really hurt him that night but I wasn't myself. I was under the control of alcohol but it was still me who said those words so I take responsibility for that and own it. I hope that one day he will realize that I'm sorry that hurting him and maybe he can forgive me. I will need to make an amends with him when I get to that point, but I don't know how I can make an amends that would make up for the pain I caused him.
