Hi Rainy,
At some point I finally realized something - I have no idea what it's like to be an addict and my husband has no idea what it's like to live with one. And for us to try and get the other to see how life is from our sides of the street is damn near impossible. I used to try to get a bird's eye understanding of what he was going through and would ask him questions all the time about how he was feeling, what he was thinking, etc. It drove him crazy and it drove me nuts too b/c he wasn't giving me the insight I was looking for. My motives were sincere, but I was still being pushy.
That's the first thing I really learned to detach from - his recovery. I don't ask any of those probing questions anymore. I let him deal with his demons and I deal with my own. It wasn't easy until I just gave up out of sheer frustration. But things sure became a lot more peaceful after I did.
Hang in there - you're doing just fine.
Oh and Gabe - awesome idea with the balloons. I'll be going to the party store!
Hugs,
JG