Hey aloneagainor, I don't have time today to read your thread but wanted to let you know that I've been thinking about you. I'm currently hiding in the office of my inlaws house typing quickly, so I understand trying to keep things under the table from people who just don't understand the need to talk about this.
I certainly hope you don't let him control your decision of whether or not to get the help you want or need through here or anywhere else.
gotta run someone's coming! take care of yourself!!!!