Hi Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.
Thanks bizygal for sharing.
2 full days sober is a beginning. But don't stop there.
17 yrs marriage. I use to think the same when i was there back when. Now its 24 yrs and but for the Grace of my Higher Power we r still together. There is alot invested in marriages that last that long.
There are many things we could do when under the influence and if we folllow thru with them and regret it later.....well.....don't rush into anything just yet. Allow time for the fog to clear and u can see clearer before making life long permantely changes in ur life. Right now ur thoughts and actions will appear to be distorted.
I began to hit bottom back in Feb 90 when i ran off the road hitting a concrete culvert sitting on top the ground less than a mile from my home at 2 in the morning retunring from a club. or local water hole. I dont remember the ride in the EMS truck which led me to a 10 day stay in the hospital with them removing a punctured spleen are i would have bled to death.
After a few months healing very nicely with the help of pain pills.....well after the pills stopped working for me i returned to my drinking. It was then that the PROGRESSION OF MY DISEASE WAS VERY RAPID. EXTREMELY RAPID that i tried to end my life. I just couldnt go anymore. I had tried to stop drink SO MANY times without success.
It was then my family stepped in and did a family intervention on me. It was them doing for me what i couldnt do for myself. The police came to get me with a court order to take me to rehab. I passed my family looking at them with SO MUCH ANGER and HATRED for what they did to me. Away i went in the back of a handless police car like i was a criminal. I felt so disgusted, humiliated, ashamed.
I spent the next 28 days in rehab recieving the tools of recovery and the knowledge that would set me on the path to learn to live free of alcohol ONE DAY AT A TIME.
Many suggestion free for the taking. And i wanted it more than u know because i hated who i was and what i had become because of my DISEASE OF ALCOHOLISM.
When i left rehab i was on my own. I had a family at home and i knew what I needed to do if i wanted to stay sober. So selfishly i went to meeting after meeting bringing cookies and things to eat for my service work. I got me a sponsor whom today i still have not replaced. She was someone i admired and appreciated. She NEVER told me what to do but rather by suggestions led me to staying sober a day at a time. She had what i wanted so bad. Peace, serenity and hope and the admiration and love of others whether it be her family or friends.
It's time to begin taking care of urself now. When i got sober it was suggestioned that i needed to change things. To change people, places and things that would remind me of drinking. That means to get these things out of the house. EVERYTHING. To replace drinking friends and family with sober support. These people u will meet at ur AA meetings. The more u go the more people will see u there and begin to know u and before u know it u have a wonderful AA support of an AA family helping each other thru good times and bad times in recovery.
It wont happen over nite but it can be done. If u go to meetings u will hear the AA message of recovery. U will begin to see the MIRACLES of those so desperate restored to sanity. Just stay awhile to see the transformation esp. the looks on their faces. It is truely something awesome to experience and u can have that too, just ONE DAY AT A TIME.
Hang in there and message me anytime u need encouragement as u begin ur new journey living a sober happy life. What a wonderful journey that will be for u and ur family.
Thanks for letting me share.