2Many,
I know that I am a little late in replying to your post but I wanted you to know that my heart is breaking for you and your children. I agree with the others that you need to find and safe place to go to. Safety must be the top priority for your family. I am sitting here trying to organize my thoughts as I type because there are so many things that I would like to say to you. First of all I have a friend that has Bi-Polar and I know how hard that is to live with. She also has a panic disorder and PTSD. My daughter also suffers from PTSD. This is the worst disorder in my opinion. any horrible event is traumatic enough in it self but when it brings a million other memories to light it is devastating.
My first thought when I read your post was that if you can get to washington state you are welcome to stay with us. I know that is a huge distance to travel but you are welcome if you need a place to go. I am well connected in my community with resources that could help you. But then I had a more realisitc thought, there are the same type of services in your state that there are here. So I did what I would do if I was in your shoes. I looked up (for your state) the state domestic violence organization. Maybe if you call them they can help you to make a plan that you can feel ok about. the site address is
http://www.nccadv.org/nccadv.htm
Now I want to tell you why I think that might help.
I had a friend here in my town that was being emotionally abused by her husband. she had gone to the local DV office and had counselled with some of the women there and had for months and months seemed like she was dealing with it ok. At times it even seemed like she was doing better and they were "honeymooning" again. (part of the cycle of abuse) Then childrens services came and took the kids. They went through some terrible days before the court date but on that day she got the kids back. She spent alot of time with the ladies at the DV office here and one day she disappeared. I wondered where she had gone. She was someone that I knew for over 12 years. then she called me not to long ago. she was living in another town. The DV office here had bought her and her kids a bus ticket and set her up in a nice emergency shelter for about 2 weeks while they helped her find an apartment. She now has a job, a home and is on her way to a "normal" life. The last time I talked to her she said that it was the best thing that she had ever done even on the hard days.
Now I am not saying that you have to leave or anything like that. I know how hard that is. There are a million reasons to stay. I know I could come up with them. But maybe just maybe it would be worth it to see what it available if you feel like you are ready or need to take that step. Most of the time the women that volunteer for the domestic violence organizations are women who have been through some pretty rough stuff so they understand what it is like to be afraid. They wont force you but they will give you the benefit of what they have should you want to take it.
Please take care of you and the kids! I am sending you hugs, love, prayers, and good vibes.
Kathie
P.S.
I was serious if you want to come to washington I will put you up until we can find you a place to call yours.
