I know that one get to me too... Crazy as it sounds I use to love when they said they could not do it without me, made me feel important to them...
But the truth of the matter is he can make it without you if he wants too... and you know that. You have children to think about as well and they dont need his chaos in their lives. Even if he chooses to get sober the first year is going to be a rollercoaster ride.
They will lay the guilt on you pretty thick hon, maybe no contact for awhile?