Jessica,
I just want you to know that I have been in your shoes. It took me many times to stick to my choice to have him leave for good. The only person who will kick you is yourself. I kick myself all the time for the choices I have made regarding my AH's addiction. My heart hurts for you because you bring me back to where I once was. Now it is not as hard because I finally hit that point where I wanted to live my life for me, and there is no doubt that it is what is the right thing to do. Please remember that you have children to think about and they know a lot more than you think they do. This effects them and they are better off with just you than with a bad male role model. Take care and if you can get to an alanon meeting, please do. REMEMBER TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILDREN FIRST!!!