OK, I'm new at this, but I can relate to this topic completely. I finally "threw in the towel" after after 15.5 years of marriage. I kept on waiting for things to get better...after he started staying out all night and starting to miss more and more dinners at home. Doesn't that sound dumb. That was my breaking point. And both of those things were very important to me. I guess I related them to "functional" families.
Since I have had this revelation, 1 month ago, I have also found he is involved with another woman. Just one more thing to try to bring me down and control me. Instead of crying and begging, I am seeking help for me and my kids.
I realize how much a part I have been in this. Where I thought I was "being nice" (didn't want to be a bitch, now, did I?), I was being very stupid.
I have filed for divorce, as legal separation does not exist in Florida.
I am reading so much on this site, and I can relate to it all. He has made me out to be the "bad guy", but I just don't care anymore. As these people are the enablers that help my husband continue his destructive behavior.
Thanks to all of you for being here. I don't feel so alone, but I know I have a long road to travel.