5.5 years
We have been married for 5.5 years. I realized it was over when I was actively glad when he was gone, and would tense up when his car pulled up out front. I also found myself talking to myself about how much I hated him. It was odd - like my subconsious was telling me that I couldn't stand him anymore. It was hard to accept because I'd always loved him so much but when I examined my feelings I realized I didn't anymore. I'd lost so much respect for him.
Then we had an incident, minor in terms of other things that had happened, but I had had enough at that point. I had gotten up very early so I could get to work early. When I went to look for the car keys they were no where to be found. I woke him up, he was still drunk, and he couldn't remember where he'd put them. Finally he found them - still in the ignition. he was so wasted he left them there and we're very lucky no one drove off with the effing car. Of course I had missed my train by that point and I was so mad ... I didn't speak to him or even look at him for two days. Shortly thereafter I called a lawyer.