What would I have done?
I've read your post a few times now and wasn't sure if I should really answer.
We all are all very different people - in our own very special circumstances - and in different stages of our recovery. Those things do set us apart to some extent, regardless if we are all dealing with a loved one's addiction or not.
However..............I can tell you that there was a time that I would have reacted much like you did. A time where I'd been a provoker in the situation, a time I would have played the victim and cried my eyes out for days to follow the event, and probably alot of different roles in between.
But I'd like to say that if that happened to me NOW, I would have tried to simply walk out the door. Leaving this insane person alone to deal with his own demons without taking them out on me and my child.
As has already been pointed out to you already - this is abuse. It's verbal abuse. Emotional and mental abuse. And it's abusive to your child to have to be in this situation where an insane person is holding her, subjecting her to the verbal abuse as well as this environment. She may be too young to understand the words, but the tone and inflection is still there. She is hearing this - and if these happen frequently enough over a time span, she will think this is normal behavior.
Despite what any of us may have done in this situation --- I'm curious --- what are YOUR boundaries?
Verbal abuse, feeling afraid and frightened, and allowing this person that frightens you and talks as he does to take physical hold of a baby - this is okay with you? Where are YOUR boundaries to protect YOU and your baby?