ForgottenWife,
I can so relate to the position you are in. I have kept a bag packed and locked up in my truck for most of the last year and I have used it several times. Usually when I leave, I send AH an e-mail stating that I love him but can't be around the behavior and that I'm not leaving him, just taking a vacation from the behavior. I don't leave with him standing there in the middle of his rage. I wait until he has left the house.
Is there anywhere you can go for awhile, spend some quality time with your baby. Maybe a friend to hang out with? My boys and have I spent a couple of nights with a friend but if we need to be gone awhile we make it into an adventure and go on a road trip. We're lucky to have the freedom to do that because I homeschool my boys. At least my AH gets his behind into work so I don't have to deal with him most days. In your case, it sounds like it would make more sense for him to be somewhere else for awhile... is there anywhere he could go and would he if he could?
We are also going through the... AH trying to get sober and having a hard time of it... thing. I can't tell how much of his bad moods and mean, scarey and obnoxious behavior are from drinking and how much they're from not drinking. The good news is he is mostly staying away from me.
I came to the conclusion awhile back that women's shelters should be converted to men's shelters that women could call when the men were being a$$holes. They would have a car sent around to pick up the men and take them to the shelter to hang out with other obnoxious men where they would have to go to support groups together and see what it was like to have to be around men like them. Doesn't seem fair that we're the ones that have to leave. On the other hand, I've gotten used to it and even like our little road trips now.