Wow, I just want to thank you all for your support, it is truly amazing to me and it has helped me make it through this weekend for sure.
I am stunned that there are so many people who have felt the same things as I do, that the addiction has worked the same way. I guess I have been really ignorant about this until I opened up my eyes within the past couple of days.
Jennifer, I have no prescription. I buy them once or twice a month from someone and I have spent probably over $1000 in the past 3 weeks on Oxy's and something that acts like Morphine.
I believe also that I can not be anywhere near them or I will take them. I know it. Small problem there, my fiance has back problems and is currently taking codeine for it and that is where I have been getting my codeine. Chances are quite high that he will be moving on from Codeine to percocets or something like that within the next few days. He has told me that he won't let me take them but I don't believe him, I think he will give in to me and I also know how good I am at finding things so I will be able to find them if I try. Maybe he needs to lock them up.
I am feeling fairly good about dragging my butt out to a meeting tonight, as long as I can stay positive. I've been up and down an awful lot with my moods today but every time I start feeling really negative I get on this website and read things and it is helping me get through today, so again thank you everyone for your help, it is much appreciated and is making a huge difference to me today.