I want to go and yet I don't want to go. If I had drugs here I know I would be taking them just to make myself feel better, even though I do want this to end. How can I go to a meeting where you are supposed to be not using drugs when I still think that I could so easily swing back the other way again?
I feel so sickly today and I have been sleeping so much. It is so hard to even make myself get dressed, let alone drive into the city to go to a meeting and have to sit up straight for any length of time. I don't know how I'm going to get myself into work on Monday. This is so awful, I want it to be over. Feeling sorry for myself and crying about this can't be helping but I can't seem to make myself get up and move either. Oh God I wish things were not this way.