I know how you feel. I was an empty shell dead inside and barely existing. I thought it would be easier to just die. People didn't give up on me and I'm happy and alive today because of them. I would have let myself die if not for the help of others. Take the help offered to you and get sober. It beats the alternative. I was wrong, way wrong. I didn't want to die at all. I just didn't know how to live. Make a call to someone and get help before it is to late. Don't make the mistake of throwing your life away.