Originally Posted by mygirls_mylife

I had a rough 3rd night last night. All the withdrawal symptoms were getting me. By the time I went to bed, I was really feeling my decisoin to quit and my disease started talking to me.
- well, I really wasnt that bad when I was drinking
- so I couldnt go 2 days w/out a drink
- my kids didnt suffer that much, I still took care of them
I realized right then and there exactly how POWERFUL a DISEASE we are dealing with. As I couldnt sleep (of course)because of my muscle spasms and stomach clenching, I had an epiphany of my 1st step.
I am still unsure of this b/c I have yet to start officially the 12 step program so I did this from what I gathered from another site.

1. I am powerless over my addiction to alcohol
2. I am powerless over my issues of abandonment
3. I am powerless over other people's attitudes
4. I am powerless over my feelings of my bio. father's betrayal
5. I am powerless over my loved one's getting sick/dying
6. I am powerless over my quick sensitivity
7. I am powerless over my own sense of inadequacy
8. I am powerless over what my daughters' will "grow up" to be
9. I am powerless over my mom's feelings of depression/guilt
10. I am powerless over MY feelings of depression/anxiety/guilt
11. I am powerless over my S.O.'s addiction
12. I am powerless over the feeling of drowning every month (bills.etc)
13. I am powerless over what my bio. mother chose to do/be
14. I am powerless over my decisions in life as of SO FAR
15. I am NOT powerless with God's grace

Anyways, I wrote all this down last night when I couldnt sleep. I eventually ignored the muscle spasms enough to go to sleep on the couch.

BUT IT IS A GLORIOUS DAY 4!!!!!
Best to everyone and CONGRATS on another day!!