Welcome Amyrosebud,
I wanted to take a moment to say hello and welcome you to SR.
Down a bit on this site is a forum..Friends and Family of Alchoholics where I think you'll meet many that have been, or are where you are.
When he love an addict, we can become as sick as they. Its a very sneaky and cunning disease, that can take entire families down.
Perhaps you could locate an Alanon meeting in your area that would allow you to meet those who can help you in this journey.
It may be a long road, and bumpy at times, but its a worthwhile journey.
((((hugs))))
Cece