OH Yeah.. definitely necessary to have a sponsor. I too struggled with getting the nerve up to find a sponsor. Women where I live are SO busy and I didn't have enough self esteem to really believe it and/or myself were worth it. A sponsor did fall right into my lap and at 8 months clean/sober I began to work with her. My family had some really weird issues but I still went for the 4th step with all my body and soul. You gotta understand it takes another person to see where you've been selfish, inconsiderate and dishonest. At the time I was still playing the role of the victim and it was only through the relationship with my sponsor and the 12 Steps that I was able to free myself from my own bondage as well as the bondage of booze/drugs.
I sure hope you'll see the 12 Steps through... They changed my life so much for the better and brought me huge emotional maturity.
"Go joyfully into the sorrow of your own life"
Joseph Campbell