prettywoman

I was reading your post and several things come to mind. I feel that maybe you have not fully healed from your first bad relationship and perhaps jumped into the next one to fast and maybe even for all the wrong reasons.

I feel that when a man and a woman are together and love one another , there is no need to go alone into bars and drink. I am not saying that there is anything wrong with going out with buddies sometimes but I feel that when you are married why do you need to go in the first place? Why not take you to a nice dinner or take you with him?

I feel that this is where trouble starts, going out alone.

There is a big trust issue. When you trust your mate, you do not "snoop" around. The fact that you "feel" you need to do this already shows you that there is a problem here.

I always say.....if it walks like a duck, if it looks like a duck.....it is a duck!

I feel that you need to heal yourself first. Taking care of you and your needs. I noticed you said something about an AlAnon no no......well you do as you please and not worry about what AlAnon may think, who cares ? if it feels right to you so be it.

I understand how hard this must be for you. It is never easy but we all have to make choices and you got many of them. Start with finding out who you are, what you want and find a way to inner peace, self respect and self love. If you do not have this inside of you, you will NOT be able to receive it in a healthy way.

I wish you luck and am sending you many blessings. Be strong! Remember, this is your life, handle it!