whew pick a name
this in a way makes me feel worse, makes you wonder why things have to happen the way that they do.
nobody deserves to have to feel this way especially when you feel that youve done all that you knew how to be there. gosh i hate this feeling and i guess i too dread father's day.
my own father died when i was 7 yrs old and i always though that it must have been him who loved me, but i don't even remember what he looked like, no pictures, the only picture that i have in my memory is of him lying in that casket with half of his face scared and not looking the same. he died in a house fire and as far as i know, alcohol may have been a factor.
to this day over 40 yrs later, i am still sad when i think that maybe he was the one who loved me, i have felt alone all of my life. my mom raised 6 of us and i was the oldest, never had a father figure in my life. moms decision not to remarry or anything, and it hurts me so badly for my kids to have to grow up like i did, without a dad in their life. so i stayed. in my heart, i did it for my kids but i don't really know, maybe it was the dreams.
i am sorry that you are feeling down today, maybe we can hold each other's hand and pray for each other and our kids. maybe we can allow god to be the father that we all so desperately long for.