I finally learned that sleeping on the couch - either Mr. Big OR Me is not a contest. It is a necessary condition if either of us is angry...
I can NOT sleep with him when he (or me, maybe?) is being a jerk. But we both desperately NEED our sleep in order to function. So... one of us sleeps on the couch. And have done that so often that is has lost some of the "punishment" feeling. Some nights, I actually LIKE not sleeping next to someone with whom I am SOOO angry... it is a relief to go out to a quiet living room and sleep soundly.
In fact, during a recent furniture purchase, we were both able to joke that we needed a sofa deep enough to sleep on comfortably.
I am glad you got the locks. I am glad he respected the boundary. I hope you can feel ok about doing this - it seems to be a solution that will work for you.
((((lizzy))))