yes, you must work on doing what you can to minimize the way your bipolar disorder affects your life. You have to control your illness and not let it control you...there are ways...you just have to educate yourself and learn to recognize when your illness IS coming through and then take corrective actions. Not only will this help you with your current friend, but most importantly it will help you live the most happy and successful life possible. Knowledge is wisdom and wisdom is power.
If you're not seeing a good psychologist once a week who is knowledgable about your issues then you need to seek one out (I'm reminding myself as I type this that I need to get back into doing this myself) because it is imperative and invaluable in helping us navigate through our lives...and they remain a voice of reason to guide us when we become unfocused or lose sight of what we can be doing to help ourselves.
And yes...I had that same conversation with a police dispatcher about 6 months ago, only I didn't disclose my mental illness. We were just talking about mental illness in general b/c of calls they had been getting at the police station. She too said that she believes most people use it as an excuse to do whatever they want and not have to take responsibility for their actions. People like this, who are totally set on their beliefs about mental illness and refuse to listen to reason, are not likely to be swayed by ANYTHING we say to them. The best thing you can do is to non-verbally prove your loved one wrong by taking responsiblity for everything you do and working very hard to get yourself healthy. Show them how well you can live life DISPITE the illness!
And who cares what they really think anyway, right? If you are happy then that is all that matters. You are living your life, not them and if you are happy and if they can't be happy for that then they are not worth your time to begin with.
And perhaps the next time someone asks "Why did you do/say that" (and they are someone not knowledgeable about mental illness/bipolar) you can always just say, "I don't know. Guess that's something I need to work on." or "Sorry if I offended you or acted badly. It wasn't intentional and it's an area of my life that I'm working on."
We are all works in progress and people can understand that better than they can understand mental illness. No matter what...always remember "Progress NOT Perfection" because as long as we each continue pushing forward then good things are bound to come from it.
Welcome and best wishes,
Jenna