YOu know what I started doing that really helped? I started helping myself.
For example, somethings I couldn't control....such as, HIS crazy behavior. But some things that I resented, I could. Such as, I resented the fact that I did all the housework. I could be cleaning a way with four kids under foot and him just laying in bed, hungover. I complained a lot about that. I was one person and felt I couldn't get it all done the way I wanted AND have patience with the children....well, enough patience anyway. So, I got a maid to help out. I didn't have enough "away" time and since my leaving them with him and going out during the evenings presented such a problem in his eyes, I got a babysitter a few mornings a week while he was away at work and would go do whatever *I* wanted.....things like that.
So I took the things I could control and did something about it that made me feel better.