Jess -
I'm sorry to see you in this state!
I have a few questions:
1. Why exactly did you invite him to move back in?
2. Since you can see for yourself that he hasn't changed, why are you
continuing to let him stay?
3. What do your kids think is going on? Is dad back for good?
4. We know what he is getting out of this arrangement. What exactly
are you getting out of it?
5. What in God's name do you feel guilty about? You didn't cause him to
be an alcoholic, did you? You don't make him drink, do you?
By not letting go of this terrible situation, you must be getting some satisfaction from it. What exactly do you get from hanging on to a situation that you can't control?
Can't you picture what your life and your kids lives could be like without G being such a focus. You've let him back in. You've seen that he still is unwilling to make any changes in himself. What is the payoff for you in this situation?
You are making life so much more difficult than it needs to be. You spend way to much time worrying about G and your "guilt." I truly don't understand why you won't accept that he is an alcoholic who is unwilling to get help. Your guilt serves no purpose. It continues to give him a soft place to fall and gives you . . . . . . . what?
Try thinking in black and white instead of many many shades of grey. You are just confusing yourself. Do what is best for you and your kids. I can't believe that you feel that having G in your lives is best for anyone.
What would you say to a "newbie" with your situation?
Hugs, Jo