i haven't read all the posts here, but there was something in the "codependent no more book" that you made me think of. We can and do go back into our codependencies, and then when we realize we really do not want to be there, we move forward. this may be what you are doing.
Hang in there Jess, you will one day realize that what you are condoning under your own roof, will be what your children will accept as "normal" for their lives as well.
If you are trying to delay and deny the "anger" you may possess being in your situation, it could come out in a rather dreadful mess-- btdt. My prayers are with you and yours.