Hi Jessica,
Let's see I won't treat you as a newcomer but I will treat you as somebody who has supposedly had alot of awarenesses and suddenly turned out the light on them.
You have choices, why after everything you've been through with the horses butt you'd let him back into your house is beyond me. Nothing has changed.
And at the risk of being unkind so what if you are spending alot of time with your kids..seems to me you are using that as a rationale for behavior that you know is extremely destructive for your kids ie letting horses butt back into the house.
Seems to me you'd better go back to step one "Admitted we were powerless over alcohol that our lives had become unmanageable."
Seems to me the issue here isn't Horses Butt but more your control issues with him.
Change the locks, why? Sounds like a game. What lesson are you trying to teach him? And what are you teaching your kids? Is this good for them?
Ngaire