thank you so much, this is so painful for me right now, 20yrs of this and i had no idea, i guess i thought that this was normal. no wonder i could not figure out why other coujples seemed so happy and in love, i have lived this so long, all of it, every bit of it, i could not believe what i was reading, if my ah had not gone to jail for 2 yrs, by now, i would be in a straight jacket i am sure. i came to believe whatever he told me to believe. 52 yrs old now, i should have know better you would think,