Hi Adam
I'm new to this myself, on my 6th day this time after I put my partner's family through hell last Friday. This was my 'wake up call' after 15 years, or more. I can relate to what you have said, funnily enough there was a wedding on TV tonight and they were all drinking champagne, I thought 'oh no! I'll never be able to enjoy myself again, never go to a party....!' I made myself say 'what about oh yes, I'll never humiliate myself , hurt others and lose all self respect again.....'!!!!
Mostly I have been positive though, thanks to finally accepting I canNOT control the drink and going to AA. You may be surprised about what you get back - others have moved on to wonderful things why not us?! Will cutting out drinking (and controlling your diet other ways) help with the gout problem? You will definately get some of your looks, self respect, motivation, determination etc etc etc back!
I can't wait to start benefiting from living a better life - finding me again. Started already!
Keep at it and keep sharing.