okay, so we are on the same page basically. Forgiveness, in time, came to me sort of on its own and naturally, as I recognized how very miserable he and his life was and I had compassion for that. I was able to walk away from it, he still lives it.
Besides...I like the AA slogan about letting people take up space rent free in our head.
And when you get busy living well and recovering, you just don't have the time or inclination to obsess, hold grudges or be bitter..you get too busy living.
Just my 2 cents.