oh boy,, I so totally agree with Big Sis. In fact one of my first thoughts when I read your original post was that one thing I love about email is I can look who sent it and hit delete.
Be kind to yourself, don't read things that are upsetting, confusing or hurtful to you. Save yourself the grief....step out of the way.
Give it time, things sort themselves out and come out in the wash.
The kids grow up and they are able to see the truth. My daughter was horribly brainwashed towards me.....it took time, but she doesn't have any illusions about it now. And she is doing great.
All you need to do is the next right thing. And take safe, gentle, good care of yourself and your kids.
The fact that they don't want to see her speaks volumes.