Janit - In Alanon they tell me, "What other people think of me is none of my business."
I like that one.
She does not define you. Her opinion is just that... her opinion. In Alanon I am learning that I cannot control people, places or things... and in trying to do so, my life became unmanageable. She is a people you can't control... including changing her mind or getting her to believe "truth".
I am sorry she is trying to inflict this pain on you.. but just because someone is pitching, doesn't mean you have to catch. Delete her email and your response... I bet you will feel LOTS better.