email from MIL
Hello All, in my last thread I was very sad about my divorce going final on the 7th of June. You guys picked me right back up and I love you for it. Today I rec'd an email from my MIL and in it she went on to blame the kids and I for his Alcohoism....well not totally but basically that what she was doing - here's and example:"There is one area, in which I think you are undermining your own strength, and I think I've mentoned this to you before. For your own happiness and peace, and ability to move on, you've got to remove the "root of bitterness" toward AH and forgive him as much as you are able to do. AH may have had his problems but I'm sure with reflection, you've thought of ways you could have been a more supportive wife too. There always seems to be blame on both sides of a relationship gone bad, whether it's lack of respect, mutual support, other family memebers, the way in which money was spent, ect. I think it will only keep the bitterness alive if you focus on the belief that AH was the whole problem." "For daughter and son - this is so important for their own mental health and future relationships - they really need to know - from you- that their father, as well as their mother, loves them. if you are able to do it, it needs to be explained to them that the problems and development of all that has happened causing the marital breakup, is between you and AH, and they are only suffering the consequesnces. Because individual relationships abd personalities always affect the whole family, it might be helpful for them to acknowledge that their behavior at times might have exasperated the situation, given their ages and how teenagers and young adults are wont to react, if you know what I mean."
What the heck is this you guys!!!! AH husband leaves the kids and I high and dry - no money- no explanation - saying to us that he will have us ALL thrown out on the streets and starve us out......this he said to us and she thinks he walks on water!!!! Then he has a year long affair with the county hooch - lives with her for 9 months and now MIL says he quit drinking and loves the kids?????? Bullshirt. Have I missed something? I wrote a reply but has not sent it because it's loaded with things like: You're more codependent that I am...We have taken him back 8 times how dare you blame us for his affair and alcoholism...ect...
The final hearing is in a couple of days now and I'm still tore up from the floor up - should I not even respond to this until after the hearing. By the way the kids would kill me if I were to tell her where they are. They swore me to secrecy....HELP