Sharing My Esh With You
Hi, Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.
Thanks Genesee for sharing where u r at in ur recovery. As a newcomer with 9 days, there r many "newer newcomers" here going thru the same feelings and emotions as u. And there are also many "old-timers" needing to hear what u have to share to help them stay on the right track. So u r very important here and at ur face to face meetings to all of us.
The newer newcomers are gonna want to know how did u make it to day 9 without "poison" in ur system. That's what Alcohol is to me....POISON.
I learned in early sobriety that in order to hold on to my sobriety and recovery , is that i had to give it away. What ever was so freely suggested and taught to me to stay sober, i have to in turn share it with u and the new comers.
In early recovery i felt the same way u did, except i was going thru all those emotions and feelings in rehab. After alcohol began to stop working for me back in Feb 90 I first had a bad accident that led me in the hospital for 10 days with them removing my spleen or i would have bled to death. 3 months passed and i healed nicely to once again pick up a drink to finally want to end my life and misery. The progression of my disease was very rapid that i didnt know what was going on. It was my family who stepped in and did for me what i couldnt do for myself. They sent me to rehab for 28 days. It was there that i recieved the tools of recovery and to learn how to stay sober one day at a time. For my family and the program of AA I am very grateful to have been sober since Aug. 11, 1990.
When i came home I was out of a controlled inviroment that kept me sober that long. Now it was up to me to make a choice to continue on the path if i still had the desire and willingness in which i did. Sure i was squirrely. I felt exactly how u feel today. But i wanted to stay sober no matter what. To go to any lengths to stay sober.
So upon suggestions, i went to meeting after meeting. To keep going until i got it. I went, listened and absorb the messages of hope. I saw many members before me staying sober for long lengths of time and that is what i wanted. I also saw some that came in for awhile then went back out. But for the Grace Of God There Goes I...if i went back out too.....They went out to experiment to only find out that getting sober screws up ones drinking and that it still doenst work out there.
In my meeting, i heard suggestions on how to stay sober one day at a time....to learn how to take care of ones self by practicing H.A.L.T. ..Hunger, Anger, Loneliness and Tiredness...Also...R.I.D....Restlessness, Irrirtability and Discontent. By checking all these on a daily bases can ease some of the discomforts in sobriety.
Then, I read my Big Book and went to some BB meetings. Steps meetings are also good to help u and guide u thru each one to eventually recieve the Promises spoken in the BB of achieivng Happiness, Joy and Freedom from working those 12 steps. To call my sponsor when i needed her, good or bad. To do my service work of baking for most all my meetings. To be in a place i felt needed, understood, loved and cared for.
Just remember, when u began drinking at what ever age....i was told i stopped growing emotionally. So when i got sober back in 90 i was 30 yrs old, but emotionally i was a teenager. Do u remeber those teen yrs? How awkward we were. : )
Anyway....all those yrs drinking, we put poison in our system. It will take time to come out of the fog and numbness to eventually begin to have good feelings.
Dont rush the steps...take those baby steps now as some one can carry u till u can walk on ur own. Build a firm solid recovery foundation to help u live a more comfortable, happy sober life for yrs to come.
Good luck and keep coming back.