Thank you guys!!! I dunno why but this milestone was a rough one for me... a lot of reflection on my part I guess and more of the realizing of the fact that alcohol just can't be a part of my life anymore. It is kind of hitting me now - the gravity and finality of it. I guess it really does boil down to mourning the loss of a friend. Something that was there when I thought I needed to pick it up and now it's not there for me anymore. It does suck. But... in reality it wasn't my "friend" to begin with it was just an excuse... just an "easy" way for me not to feel whatever it was at the moment I didn't want to feel anymore.
I thought it was going to be all rosey and happy and proud thoughts flowing through me for my 6 month milestone. It was there... some of it anyway... but the other thoughts were there too. Kind of scared me in one way. In another way it said loud and clear to me that my alcoholism is still there lurking inside me and that only through vigilance and self-conviction will I remain sober and remain my number one priority.
A good thing to realize.
A sucky thing to have to accept.
A better thing to get it and accept it and move forward cuz the only other direction spells destruction. I don't want to go there so I will choose my path to go forward.
At least it is my choice. Mine. My own.
F' the monkey. Get off my back and stay off.
Thank you all for your so valuable support and well wishes. You're always there when I need you and always there when I take the time to reach out to you. Just goes ta show... if you ask... you will receive. You just gotta reach out for it.
Here's to the next 6 months!
Suga