Just as I sit here, and after making the post on probably time to go. I feel clouded! Not sure which way to go here, but here I am again. Not wanting to go, but yet feeling as if I am a hypercrite. I guess that my problem is not only me, but I am so sick of giving in. Yes I do want perminant sobriety, and yet I fear that this isn't my destination. I guess that after each relapse that I am doing, the less hope that I have that this deal is going to work for me. Or maybe it is that I am not truly willing to work for it. Don't know! Anyway today I am clean as I was yesterday. I have a to go now. Hope all have a good day. Feeling really down right now that is all that I do know. Maybe it isn't for me? Have to go my little girl just signed in on messenger!