I think one determining factor is to give thought to the vows of the institution of marriage. Love and marriage are conditional to the vows being kept. If they aren't, it makes a mockery of a holy institution, and that won't be blessed. Sometimes people stand there take the vows and then can't figure out why their marriage isn't belssed. There are civil ceremonies where you make a deal. I feel very strongly that if you will be marriaed in a church that invites Gods blessings on the union, you must include Him everyday. We keep the vows we speak, but we have juist as much right to depend on the words spoken to us. I have come to this conclusion after years of being married to an alcoholic. I feel that my own marriage is a reflection of my love of God and the holy institution of marriage. I won't alledge to love God, honor marriage and live with someone who doesn't. No one is locked into a one sided marriage, it honors no one and insults God. It is no honor to God or yourself to remain in a relationship that would reduce the esteemed role of "wife " to less than a bottle of beer. We have to expect a persons best if they stand at the alter with us, not settle for the least and hope for the best. We really have to demand it. If I give my lifes focus to a man, I expect to be his lifes focus. That is not to the exclusion of everything else but that life needs to reflect who I am jioned with this man. It is a serious decision. I would get engaged and marry after one year of sobriety.