My line in the sand
The last time AH drank I drew my line in the sand, he crossed it. I said no more. He's been out of the house for 3 months now. Claims to be sober and not having the 'urge' to drink. He felt he was in with the 'wrong crowd', but still appears to take responsibility for it. I have focused on ME and am proud to do so. I didn't spend hours wondering what he was doing, was he seeing someone, etc. I feel much better and stronger.
NOW, IF he is going to continue his sobriety, I will welcome him home. BUT I also feel what message is that? That I don't mean what I say? I do not want to be a doormat. I don't want to be a person who says next time, you're gone, I mean next time-not this time, the next time, then it's the next time, and never means what they say.
OR if you forgive someone is that lessening your self worth?
I do really want him home, SOBER. I do not miss the roller coaster we were on, but of course I miss our relationship.