Part 2.
The Therapeutic Relationship.
“The third distinctive feature of this type of therapy is the character of the relationship between therapist and client. Unlike other therapies in which the skills of the therapist are to be exercised upon the client, in this approach the skills of the therapist are focused upon creating a psychological atmosphere in which the client can work.” (Rogers 1946).
Rogers argued that as each of us has the best knowledge of how as individuals we need to grow the counsellor must not confuse or attempt to guide; instead the counsellor can be of far better help by creating a relationship that gives the counsellee an environment in which their innate self actualising tendencies are not blocked. He stated that it was this relationship in itself which acted as a catalyst for healing through the client’s own ability to self examine and understand their individual barriers and create their own solutions.
Creating the psychological atmosphere in which the client can work. Roger’s stated that there were 3 core conditions which were necessary to create a therapeutic relationship. These conditions were unconditional positive regard, empathy, and genuineness (congruence).
Unconditional Positive Regard
In reading explanations around the issue of unconditional positive regard it appears to me to describe deep seated compassion and a belief system based on the intrinsic worth of people. For want of a better word to feel a sense of love for another person, because they are a person, because of a belief about people that goes beyond their behaviour, their beliefs and their attitudes and is instead based on an internal valuing of human life. Perhaps this is what was meant or perhaps it is the only way in which I can feel it as a part of my own beliefs and life experience.
Empathy
The difference between empathy and sympathy is that of attention. Empathy involves attending to the way the other feels about a situation, their perspective, reasoning and their emotions. Sympathy is tending to our own perception of another’s situation, our feelings about their circumstance, our own reasoning regarding their situation. Because Rogerian counselling centres on the counsellee’s insights and problem solving abilities, the counsellor becoming tangled in their own thoughts regarding the other’s situation only creates a distraction. Rogerian counselling not only requires the counsellor to have empathy but to show it, to show that attention is given to the counsellee’s perspective, feelings and reasoning. It requires the counsellor to demonstrate verbally and non verbally that the counsellee is being understood in their own terms and that it’s their words which hold the real importance.
Congruence, (genuineness)
What matters in this respect is that no ‘act’ is taking place, no ulterior motive, no pretence in showing empathy or in having positive regard for the other. In this sense it is not enough to learn Rogerian counselling as a technique, because the method relies on a deep belief and trust in the counsellee. Rogers argues that the more deeply the client’s own constructive forces are relied upon the more deeply they are released. To truly rely on anything requires genuine trust or is likely to cause considerable distress! Only through the belief that the client will grow and make the right choices can the counsellor be truly relaxed.