I was loaned the book "Drinking: a Love Story" written by a woman, and it really helped me to understand that although my actual drinking patterns were very different from the author, my THOUGHT process was exactly the same. I believe that it's how you THINK about drinking that determines your level of problems...
You might try
www.aa.org and click on "44 Questions" and some of the other tabs that also suggest you can determine whether or not you have a problem. This will also help you to get in contact with someone who can help you find a meeting.
If you are not comfortable in mixed sex meeting, you might seek out a women's group...there are usually one or more of those in most cities per week (where I'm from).
The fact that you sought out this sight, and were brave enough to post, tells me that something inside of you (other than your liver) is trying to tell you something....
God Bless you on this journey, whatever your choice may be today.
Kari