First off I would like to welcome you here to SR!!!! Here you will find out whatever you're looking for. We don't like to pronounce anyone as being alcoholic. In chapter 4 of the Alcoholic Anonymous Big Book, in the first paragraph it says:
"In the preceding chapters you have learned something of alcoholism. We hope we have made clear the distinction between the alcoholic and the non-alcoholic. If, when you honestly want to, you find you can not quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer."
Now mind you that doesn't mean that you might not be a potential alcoholic. Maybe you should try going to a meeting, you don't have to talk, just sit there and listen and maybe you might be able to relate to what they are saying. Any way welcome here and I am sending good thoughts your way.
Vic