I really need to let go and have faith right now. And you're right, I need to take a break from what is spinning me. I feel very weak and decided that I really need to get back to God and look to Him and trust in His guidance. I was raised catholic and have let my religion slip since I was 18, now 30 I am realizing how much I need it. I need it so much now. I will go to my Al-Anon meeting Monday night and I will continue to go because I know I need to so that I can start to feel stong again.