Originally Posted by megamysterioso
I do find myself saying these types of things to myself--- "If I were him, I'd take this time when we are separated to get my act together and 'prove' myself. I'd go through all the necessary steps to make life better for me and stop this cycle of pain." I just feel that NOW would be the time for him to pull up the bootstraps. He cannot see this as an opportunity for POSITIVE change. Instead, he is blaming, having pity parties and drinking himself stupid every day. Is it natural for me to have these kind of thoughts??????
I had these thoughts, too, mega. Sometimes I still do. But I took action with the faith that it was the right thing to do for me. Six months down the road I can truly say the focus is on me, not him. My main emotion is sadness, too. That doesn't mean I'm down and sad all the time. I am not; in fact, I am in a very good place with my life and feel happier than I have in years. I am sad it came to this, but that is an emotion I can deal with when it is for all the right reasons.
Don't forget - be good to yourself as you go through this.