I'm leaving AH and it took me a LONG time and a lot of mess in between to come to this concrete decision. Here is what nudged me down from the fence...
AH had promised to "cut down on his drinking for the sake of our marriage" and I figured off the bat that this was another empty promise and another excuse to not quit COMPLETELY. I did not say much during this time and I just watched his ACTIONS. One weekend his friend came over and they partied. It was a weekend drunkfest and in the midst of it- AH fell off our sofa onto his face and got carpetburn on his forehead---- YES carpetburn
. I thought about all of our serious "Jerry Springer" episodes we've had--- HUGE fights in public places, him breaking my windshield, me calling the sherriff, ER alcohol poisoning, him making promises and constantly breaking them- each Jerry Springer episode yet another violation of trust and loss of respect. He mentioned how the carpetburn was really "no big deal." I DO agree that carpetburn in comparison with the things I've mentioned above is minor, dumb sh*t.
The fact of the matter is... as long as you continue to live with an active alcoholic/addict, the "dumb sh*t"
will always happen. Luckily, the dumb sh*t THIS time was carpetburn, next time it could be worse (maybe not). Don't even bother speculating- it IS coming. Are you able to live with
ANY of the dumb sh*t for another moment and be happy??? How about for another 10 years??? My answer was/is NO. I want no part of it any longer- no matter how "major" or how "minor."