Welcome,
My alcoholic(s) are my Mom, Cousin and ex-bf.
I will focus on my Mom. She has been drinking for 60 years, yes, you heard me right. She is now 80 and to this date has never stopped for a day.
I know what you are going thru. I moved out at 18, forged my own way. Lots of bumps in the road for me, bad choices of men. All have been addicted to something.
Her actions have effected my entire life. There have been times I did not talk to her, once for 4 years, once for 10 years. For me, they were the happiest times of my life.
We made up again about 4 years ago, I had my bounderies set. I stick to them.
Two are:
If you are drunk, don't call me...I will hang up
If you are drunk, don't come over...I will ask you to leave
She is too old to push me around, yet she can still be verbally abusive.
All I can offer is to work on you. Detach, set your bounderies and stick to them.
I have found SR to be a great help to me. I do attend meetings. I have been in therapy on and off throughout my life.
I feel your pain, I've been there.
I love my Mom too, yet I know she will die with a drink in her hand...I accept that. I cannot help her...she doesn't want to be sober.
Keep posting and reading.
Dolly