Meg
Journeygal hit the truth here, it's hard to talk about it without meddling.
Something that works for my son and I is when we discuss recovery in general. We can discuss what the steps mean to us or how different people work the program and what seems to work and what doesn't, and about our own obstacles that we sometimes hit. Just be careful that this doesn't turn into a debate if you disagree on some points.
Another thing that may be encouraging is to go to an open meeting with him (presuming he is comfortable with this) and share the experience of recovery without getting into each other's inventory.
I have seen many couples who have recognized that a lot of time needs to be spent on working recovery. Some are resentful of the time that the partner is away from the family, forgetting that this may be a life and death decision. Others get involved in a non-intrusive way - going to open meetings, going to NA dances or social events, making "meeting" night a night out for both of them in situations where they have meetings the same night (NA and Nar-Anon for example).
Working recovery has to become part of (not all of) a lifestyle, and can be a wonderful thing for both partners, as long as they don't step on each others programs.
I guess it's about balance. You don't need to talk about it all the time, but there is no reason not to talk about it at all. It's just a very important part of your life and about adjusting your time to make sure it is not overlooked.
Hope this helps a little.