Thank you Margo, I have myself in such a mess...I am so incredibly scared, I would do anything to get past this, I have been working so hard, I just can't push myself today...I love my family more than anything in this world...and i know what it's like to watch your parents try and kill themselves from avery young age, I don't think i want to die..I want to live, problem is i do not KNOW how. It shames me more than I can say to admit this...Idon't know how to deal with all these emotions at once. I have been constantly feeling like someone is fixing to attack me, scream at me and hurt me, and then the drug detox, and thinking about my brother trying to shoot himself with his shotgun, my mother has been fixated on death lately, my husband is gone all week, and I don't know what to do....my children deserve a happy, healthy and whole mother, not this, not this rotten messed up drug-addicted tried all I could to be a good mother, never left them to use, never hurt or abused them, but I am not well, and I am sick and all evidence i have at this moment says that i won't make it, might not die from all this..but they don't have the kind of mother that i know they need. I don't even know who i am. I am so sorry for going on about this. I know I have to be strong, but I'm pretty weak right now.