I think the events that happen in living with an alcoholic vary, which makes our interpation of recovery so very different.
I was married for 24 years. The first 10 years were "normal" The "american dream" 3 beautiful children, big house in the country, friends, family and happiness. Social drinking was a part of the picture. The drinking progressed, the dashed hopes, the failed attempts at treatment, the cheating, the job losses, legal problems. As I look back at what part did I play in this....I stayed to long, I detached, acting as if what he did didn't really effect me. It was really hard not to feel like the victim or blame someone when you lose everything you have worked for because he choses to drink and drive. I don't feel like a victim anymore, I am a survivior. To have the dream smashed of growing old together, enjoying the grand children and all the things that I had committed to in this marriage is GONE. To feel blame, anger, or being a victim is just spinning your wheels because their is no one at the other end to give a response or provide closure. Some things in life are cut and dry, living with an alcoholic isn't. That's the insanity.
I will have to deal with this person for the rest of my life in one way shape or form. He continues to drink so the joy of college graduations, weddings, birth of grandchildren and family get togthers will be affected. I would just be fooling myself to think different.