Originally Posted by long at this
Even though the teachings of alanon were life savers in that dysfunctional time in our lives. I don't know if they work in a healthy lifestyle
well..i certainly didn't grow up in a normal or healthy household so I was attracted to men that weren't normal and healthy..
I did lots of therapy and life coaching and self-help books before I even got to Alanon and guess what..the messages I got from the other types of recovery were consistant to what I get in Alanon today.
See..I learned that MY attitude was the problem..I never had a positive attitude growning up...I was a victim or a martyr..as a child..it really wasn't my choice.
As an adult I had to relearn new ways of thinking..like learning to walk again..
I've never "detached from my soul" but instead I have learned to identify what is my "stuff" and what belongs to other people..I have learned not to take someone else's stuff personally..
There are still lots of dysfunctional people in my life..you can't escape that - but today I have many more tools to deal with them..and to keep myself at peace and happy..even if they arent.
Today, I'm not with an alcoholic..I'm actually dating a very wonderful kind thoughtful man..yet sometimes my thinking can still be distorted..which is ok..it's a learning process..
but I can check in with my sponsor or another friend of Alanon and get "right sized" again.