That is what I was trying to say with the ... if you go to the hardware store for bread... you might have to redefine what bread is to you.
If you know what you want, then its your responsibility to make it happen.... but when you are dealing with an Alcoholic the rules are not the same as what you think "normal" is...
Its all about choices... either you have to redefine normal (what is normal for you) or you have to make the choice to leave the person that can not give you that and find someone that can.