I understand where you're coming from long at this. I still retain that I did not come from a dysfunctional household. It is important to me as well to never detach myself from my own soul. I don't want the core of who I am to be silenced. Those reactions to the behaviors you described are completely "normal" IMO. The thing is that in order to live with an alcoholic, you have to learn these other ways of coping in order to have a "peaceful" relationship with the A and keep yourself sane.
I feel that I should be able to share and discuss whatever I want with my SO. I should be allowed to be myself and openly share in life's experiences with him. I should not have to "pretend" or distance myself to keep "peace." That is why I have to leave. I refuse to continue to tiptoe around in my own life.